Weddings Galore!
Over the entire summer, I went to 1 wedding. Over the next 3 weekends of Fall, I'll be going to 3 weddings.
Sept 25 - Ohio
Oct 2 - Chicago
Oct 9 - Toronto
It's an interesting turnaround from last year when most of the weddings (I think there was 5) were during the summer, with one in the winter in HK.
It's cool this year, cuz I'll get to travel a little bit over the next 2 weeks. I'll be driving down to Ohio with my mom and bro Greg, and then flying to Milwaukee from TO next week for the Chicago wedding. Soon after that, there's the TO wedding over the Thanksgiving long weekend :)
These things are what's keeping me busy these days. It's nice - distracting me and keeping me in denial that I've graduated and need to start being a real adult and looking for places to start working/practicing :P
I was at the OAND's New Practitioners Weekend this past weekend, a seminar for new NDs about starting a practice. It was an exciting time yet at the same time quite overwhelming...so many different insurance things to look into and have. Some mandatory and some optional. There's life insurance, disability insurance, home and auto insurance, malpractice insurance, clinic and property liability/insurance, general property liability/insurance, extended health insurance, critical illness insurance. It seems like this whole life is about having insurance to cover your butt in case anything happens.
We're not getting any younger.
Most of my other friends who were at the weekend seminar are single professionals (i.e. not married) like me and have NO IDEA what lies ahead for us or even any idea of where we'll be in the next few years. It came up a lot that it really depends on who we may meet or end up with in a relationship that could help to determine where we'd like to be for a more long-term place to settle into and have a family too.
Honestly, to go back to the title of this blog about weddings, I really think more people than not, if not almost ALL of those who are not married really do wonder when and if they'll ever get married. Seriously. I've seen it so much over the past while with those around me. A lot because most of my friends are out of school now, and it is generally known that once you're out of school, it becomes a lot more difficult (but nonetheless, still very possible) to meet someone.
As much as someone may deny it and as strong and determined and ambitious and independant a person may seem to be, I think deep down, he/she is wondering and thinking; and praying about this. And for some it may be a big worry and concern that they may never meet someone because they're not getting any younger, and especially for women, there's a "biological clock" and there really are less and less mature men out there (if you prefer same or older aged men as a woman)...I think some men feel this too, but maybe to a lesser degree since they can "wait" a little longer and it is more generally and socially accepted for the older man (who is say 35) to marry a woman as young as 20 even. The other way around is ok, but rare, I must say. I'm also considering for those women who want to have children, there really is a big jump in the risks of a pregnancy and health risks to both mother and child after 30 yoa, and after 35 yoa, the rates of fertility for women drop significantly.
So for the ladies out there, there is reason to have some concern, but don't let that hold you back from enjoying life and experiencing a full life with God's blessings. My regular advice to my single-not dating someone (yet)-friends is usually this: (Besides praying)...Do NOT let being single get you down and depressed from which you may regress and become antisocial, isolating yourself from others and not want to meet people. This will only turn into a viscious cycle. I hear about this sometimes say with people who have gone to so may weddings year after year, single, and eventually, they're just sick of it, and stop going to weddings. And thus the viscious cycle takes over.
Dating someone is the most high risk, low commitment relationship. One can easily be extremely hurt by a broken relationship. For example, those who have been in relationships where it seemed to lead to marriage but ended up in heartbreak may lead you to find yourself hiding and protecting yourself from ever being hurt again. This is another way of falling into the viscious cycle. This will take time to heal, but don't give up.
Everyone: don't give up. Go out there and keep in touch with people. Keep in touch with your friends and always be open to meeting new people. Meeting friends of friends in group settings is probably the best, most comfortable and least awkward way of meeting new friends, and from these friends you can get to know them and see if there's potential. I generally don't recommend the bar or club scene. Other places like libraries, community centres, recreational classes, gyms, conferences etc are good ways to expand your network of friends. I'm still very hesitant on the internet way of meeting friends and dating in particular. Church people will always say the church is the best way to meet someone. I'm not sure about this. It's great for meeting and making great friends. But for dating, I'm still not sure. Maybe not someone in your own church...but if you attend church, you probably have friends who attend other churches and have friends there - hang out with those friends to meet other people.
Yes, you're busy with your work and building a successful career, but make time for yourself to meet with friends and meet new people.
It's all about balance.
And you know what...once you let it go, it will come. That's probably the hardest thing to do. But I've seen it happen over and over again. It's like when you lose something and can't find it as you're fretting over finding it, but once you let it go (I'm not saying give up, but more, refocus and do the other things you had planned that day while keeping in mind that you've lost something), then all of a sudden you find it!
Things come when you least expect it!
Over the entire summer, I went to 1 wedding. Over the next 3 weekends of Fall, I'll be going to 3 weddings.
Sept 25 - Ohio
Oct 2 - Chicago
Oct 9 - Toronto
It's an interesting turnaround from last year when most of the weddings (I think there was 5) were during the summer, with one in the winter in HK.
It's cool this year, cuz I'll get to travel a little bit over the next 2 weeks. I'll be driving down to Ohio with my mom and bro Greg, and then flying to Milwaukee from TO next week for the Chicago wedding. Soon after that, there's the TO wedding over the Thanksgiving long weekend :)
These things are what's keeping me busy these days. It's nice - distracting me and keeping me in denial that I've graduated and need to start being a real adult and looking for places to start working/practicing :P
I was at the OAND's New Practitioners Weekend this past weekend, a seminar for new NDs about starting a practice. It was an exciting time yet at the same time quite overwhelming...so many different insurance things to look into and have. Some mandatory and some optional. There's life insurance, disability insurance, home and auto insurance, malpractice insurance, clinic and property liability/insurance, general property liability/insurance, extended health insurance, critical illness insurance. It seems like this whole life is about having insurance to cover your butt in case anything happens.
We're not getting any younger.
Most of my other friends who were at the weekend seminar are single professionals (i.e. not married) like me and have NO IDEA what lies ahead for us or even any idea of where we'll be in the next few years. It came up a lot that it really depends on who we may meet or end up with in a relationship that could help to determine where we'd like to be for a more long-term place to settle into and have a family too.
Honestly, to go back to the title of this blog about weddings, I really think more people than not, if not almost ALL of those who are not married really do wonder when and if they'll ever get married. Seriously. I've seen it so much over the past while with those around me. A lot because most of my friends are out of school now, and it is generally known that once you're out of school, it becomes a lot more difficult (but nonetheless, still very possible) to meet someone.
As much as someone may deny it and as strong and determined and ambitious and independant a person may seem to be, I think deep down, he/she is wondering and thinking; and praying about this. And for some it may be a big worry and concern that they may never meet someone because they're not getting any younger, and especially for women, there's a "biological clock" and there really are less and less mature men out there (if you prefer same or older aged men as a woman)...I think some men feel this too, but maybe to a lesser degree since they can "wait" a little longer and it is more generally and socially accepted for the older man (who is say 35) to marry a woman as young as 20 even. The other way around is ok, but rare, I must say. I'm also considering for those women who want to have children, there really is a big jump in the risks of a pregnancy and health risks to both mother and child after 30 yoa, and after 35 yoa, the rates of fertility for women drop significantly.
So for the ladies out there, there is reason to have some concern, but don't let that hold you back from enjoying life and experiencing a full life with God's blessings. My regular advice to my single-not dating someone (yet)-friends is usually this: (Besides praying)...Do NOT let being single get you down and depressed from which you may regress and become antisocial, isolating yourself from others and not want to meet people. This will only turn into a viscious cycle. I hear about this sometimes say with people who have gone to so may weddings year after year, single, and eventually, they're just sick of it, and stop going to weddings. And thus the viscious cycle takes over.
Dating someone is the most high risk, low commitment relationship. One can easily be extremely hurt by a broken relationship. For example, those who have been in relationships where it seemed to lead to marriage but ended up in heartbreak may lead you to find yourself hiding and protecting yourself from ever being hurt again. This is another way of falling into the viscious cycle. This will take time to heal, but don't give up.
Everyone: don't give up. Go out there and keep in touch with people. Keep in touch with your friends and always be open to meeting new people. Meeting friends of friends in group settings is probably the best, most comfortable and least awkward way of meeting new friends, and from these friends you can get to know them and see if there's potential. I generally don't recommend the bar or club scene. Other places like libraries, community centres, recreational classes, gyms, conferences etc are good ways to expand your network of friends. I'm still very hesitant on the internet way of meeting friends and dating in particular. Church people will always say the church is the best way to meet someone. I'm not sure about this. It's great for meeting and making great friends. But for dating, I'm still not sure. Maybe not someone in your own church...but if you attend church, you probably have friends who attend other churches and have friends there - hang out with those friends to meet other people.
Yes, you're busy with your work and building a successful career, but make time for yourself to meet with friends and meet new people.
It's all about balance.
And you know what...once you let it go, it will come. That's probably the hardest thing to do. But I've seen it happen over and over again. It's like when you lose something and can't find it as you're fretting over finding it, but once you let it go (I'm not saying give up, but more, refocus and do the other things you had planned that day while keeping in mind that you've lost something), then all of a sudden you find it!
Things come when you least expect it!
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