november blues

It's that time of year when dark grey clouds hover and rain pours down. Sometimes you can't help but feel a little bit bluey, or grey and feel like you're mimicking the weather. I see it very much around me, and with patients as well. And I think it's starting to affect me a little. It's a weird feeling. When I think about it, I really have no reason to be bluey or sad, but I'm feeling it more as the days go by. "Sad for no reason", but I'm not depressed cuz I still have many happy days and moments and want to see people and socialize and exercise and join/learn new activities with an underlying optimism about me. But then there's this conflicting depressor in me...what is it? and of course, me being me, I'm thinking and trying to deduce and figure out what may be underlying these feelings and imbalances??

Is it hormonal? is it chemical (lack of certain amino acids or 5HTP or something)? is it a deficiency (lack of vitamin D due to less sun, i.e. SAD)? is it circumstance (missing family and friends, being here on my own)? is it work and trying to build a career here (and how it's not so easy to do so)? is it spiritual (not feeling connected)? is it pollution/toxins in the environment that have accumulated in my body and wearing me down? is it my diet and not eating so well sometimes? what is it? maybe it's all of the above or some combination of them. I don't really know.